Dining Dilemmas

Sometimes, all the careful preparations in the world cannot save us from those nightmare scenarios in which a lady's veneer has the potential to crack. Here's how to combat the worst. 

 You Have Food Stuck Between Your Teeth

If you can sense an offending article in your teeth, the best thing to do is to excuse yourself from the table and remove the dental deviant in the privacy of the bathroom. Never launch an attack while still at the table. If you cannot possibly steal away, bring your napkin to conceal your mouth with one hand and dislodge the food as quickly as possible with the other.

You Notice Someone Else Has

Discreetly alert your companion to the food by indicating toward your own teeth. Hopefully this is all it will take for them to realize the situation. If not, let them know quietly, without allowing anyone else to hear. 

You Find Yourself Chewing On A Piece Of Gristle

If you don't think a gulp of water will help the sucker slip down, very discreetly bring your napkin to your mouth and spit the gristle into it. Dispose of it as soon as possible. 

Sending Food Back

Again, a good attitude is the order of the day. Don't shoot the messenger--be polite to the waiter and explain the problem as clearly as possible. They should replace your meal and may even take the cost of it off the total. Remember that this criticism of the meal can cause a bad atmosphere, so think twice about kicking up a fuss when  you are in a big group. Sometimes it's just not worth it.

Splitting The Bill

Finances and friends don't mix well, so be prepared to pay over the odds if it will make for a more amicable experience. If you know you have eaten more courses or ordered more expensive dishes than your friends, offer to pay more, and if you have to leave early, make a larger contribution than necessary, so no one is left to pick up your tab. If someone offers to pay for you, it's polite to protest once, but then accept graciously. Always tip good service-10-15 percent is usual in the UK, for example;whereas in the US, you need to opt for 15-20 percent.